human interaction

I am sure everyone knows that the past weekend was Easter. As I sat in church listening to the reading of the Passion, I could not help but think of Nietzsche's commentary on the clash that took place two thousand years ago between Jesus of Nazareth and Pontius Pilate. In simplified terms Nietzsche sets out to explain the interaction between those with power, masters, and those without, slaves. The masters are noble and believe in the strong and beautitul while the slaves are ignoble and believe in the weak and ugly. In his terms it was the slave morality of the Judeo-Christian ethical system that created the idea that only those who are weak, poor and marginalized are able to enter eternal paradise in heaven. This idea contradicted the master morality of the Roman Empire.

As many have probably guessed, Jesus became the pinnacle of the tension between the two opposed moral systems. It is in His meeting with Pilate that the drama reaches it height:

Jesus answered, "For this cause I was born, and for this cause I have come into the
world, that I should bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears
My voice." Pilate said to Him, "What is truth?"
-John 18:37-38

What we see here is a complete misunderstanding between Jesus and Pilate. Neither one of them understands what the other believes because they have been brought up in different cultures. Their truths are opposite and therefore, in a way, meaningless to one another. Truth, because here we are looking at human-created ethical truth, has become arbitrary. It is as if they were speaking different languages. I am not trying to assert that there is no such thing as absolute truth or that there is no way for people from different backgrounds to communicate with each other. I think that history has proven otherwise. This is simply an analysis of what seems to have happened during the meeting of Pilate and Jesus.

We know how the story ends. Jesus was crucified, but with the conversion of the Roman Empire to Christianity in the 4th century the Judeo-Christian tradition inserted itself into that of the Roman Empire and has asserted its influence ever since. What I am interested in is the drama between Pilate and Jesus and they stand face to face discussing what they believe. In a sense we have two opposed ethical systems, but they are simply ideals. In reality we see two men, in their backgrounds, peronalities, experiences, etc. humanly dealing with the disconnect that has formed between two divergent cultures. I love to think of the enormous weight that played itself out through two simple men, people like you and me.

And that brings us to what is present in my experience and in others' experiences who come to the Center. Everyone who comes through the door has a different story, background, personality, etc. Even more evident is that the people who serve often times have completely different truths than those they are serving. I know that I personally do not have much in common (in many ways) with the men who come into the Center. But this is not an excuse to that we can use when communication does not work or when conflicts arise. We must find a way to hold true to ourselves, to remember where we come from, to celebrate everything that makes us who we are while at the same time changing the things that hold us back and integrating helpful information that will allow us move forward in life. It is a tension that threads itselt through every part of our experience as human beings. When should we let go and when should we hold on (I suppose most evidently in a game of poker - Kenny Rogers has a song). Anyway, I do not think that our interactions ever reach the scale of Jesus and Pilate, with repercussions lasting thousands of years. But I do think it is important to remember the human, flesh and blood component of all our interactions. And that we should never give too much weight to our ideals and systems, because every time we deal with someone it is a particular situation that does not simply contain ideas and converging systems, but two souls.

Soul Art

As I have previously mentioned (I think), we now hold regular meetings on Fridays in which we discuss life issues and how the Center is running. Some of the topics have included Leonardo's Vitruvian Man, hydrogen bonding and The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky. I look forward to other interesting discussions in the future. The plan for our next meeting is to do art therapy through the Health Through Art Project. I think it is a great idea, something that the guys could really get into and something in which I would also like to participate (even though my art skills are minimal at most).

But as you have probably guessed we do not have art supplies readily available at St. Vincent de Paul (actually you would think that we would have this stuff donated, but I guess not). This is a problem. In order for our guys to enter the peaceful art contest they need items that are used in artwork (this is really rocket science), such as medium to heavy weight paper, foam board, markers, acrylic paints, colored pencils and things of that nature. Now, the reason I am writing this blog is to talk about a small detail in this whole story. I did not know what I was going to do to get supplies. It turns out that it really does not take much: call art supplies stores, tell them you work for a non-profit organization and ask for donations of damaged items. They are more than willing to help, most likely because it is a tax write-off.

The point of this blog, the little detail I want to talk about, is that of all things today setting up this relationship withthe art stores is what really made me happy. I found myself smiling as I got off the phone, smiling as I drove to speak with the people who run the stores. And I don't really know why it touched me so much.

Not Running the Center

I would like to say that running the center "happens" much more by itself than anything else. I suppose the idea is similar to Adam Smith's invisible hand in capitalism. And like capitalism the result is often tumultuous and self-serving. This is not to say that the little things I do, or the things Steve does, or anyone else are not important. Contrary to that idea it is the little things, everyone's little actions and decisions that control the way everything works. And even though the basis for action (just about all action in the center) is selfishness, it is not rare to find some altruism here and there. I wonder why this is so.

One point I would like to make is that it is impressive that we have homeless volunteers at the Center. They come off the streets, needing nothing but money (and the clothes, etc. that come with it) and still work for nothing, for the most part just to help out. I am impressed.

Running the Center

I have been given some gruff for not keeping up with the blog. Two reactions: 1) Sorrow for not keeping up my part of the bargain 2) Surprise that people were disappointed. To update the world on what is going on at the Center I will talk about some duties that presented themselves with the absence of "Stephen Krank - Men's Center Guru."

Dealing with four men who all want to rent a two-person apartment. Organizing a group of 12 college students who need to perform 3-4 different activities throughout a day period. Signing clothing vouchers. Making appointments for fixing the washing machine. Learning lessons: 1) Check out whether an appliance really needs to be fixed 2) Schedule all appointments as early in the day as possible. These two simple steps help to limit the number of 12-hour work days. Breaking up a fight. Spreading bus tickets evenly among all the guys in the Center. Signing vouchers for the Phoenix Winter Shelter Program. Writing letters to the shelter when guys miss a night but still want to remain in the program. Helping St. Vincent de Paul promote thrift store sales. Organizing with Rebecca an Alternate Spring Break trip for students from UC Riverside. Writing and sending the Center's Committee letter. Creating a bus ticket tracking sheet. Opening the Center every day. Printing name tags for the interns of the Center. Making sure two of the guys successfully make it to a paid job (which turned out great). Facilitating Enrichemnt Discussions with Dante. Filling out Homeless Court forms. Struggling through an incident with properly signing clothing vouchers. Closing the Center every day.

In reality, I feel as though I did not have to do that much. The Center really does run itself because the guys do all the work. I feel as though I just have to sit back and every now and then use the miniscule amount of authority that I do have to help get something done. More than anything I have come to respect the duties that come when one has to deal with the politics and technicalities of a job while balancing them with direct service to the guys. I am glad that Steve is back and will not forget the continuing lessons of life that I learn at the Center, most of which are impossible to learn from a book. This is the real thing. I do not claim to have any of the answers, but I have been exposed to a lot of the questions. Living through them has become my way of life.

A Quiet Empty

It has been about a week and a half since Tyrone left us. Steve has been gone for a week. At this moment the Center is quite a different place than it was at a certain moment a month ago, two months ago, etc. Kind of silly to think about. Things are different. But is that really that crazy of a thought? Who really expects things to stay the same? Why do we do this? What is it about nostalgia that is so attractive? One would think that freedom and opportunity and possibility would be a bigger draw. Maybe they are. Maybe we move constantly back and forth from what lies behind to what lies ahead. But then, of course, what happens to the present? Does anyone pay attention to now?

For now I am content with the way things are going. Dante has taken on a leadership role in the Center, no one has died (I suppose not that funny, but we have to be able to laugh sometimes) and we have been able to remain on schedule while taking care of all the extra responsibilities that come to us each day. In addition the Center has been quiet because it is the beginning of the month and in general the guys seem to be a little more relaxed than usual.

This morning we read the story in which Jesus heals the paraplegic who was lowered through the roof of the house in which he was teaching. Surrounded by followers and other interested individuals (including the wicked Pharisees) Jesus proclaims that he forgives the man of his sins. This is apparently unaccpetable to the Pharisees because only God can forgive people. Of course this does not bother Jesus. As the Son of Man (read: as a human being), as a son of man he forgives the man because that is what we should to each other. As it says in the Our Father, "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespassed against us." In the Prayer of St. Francis it says, "it is in forgiving that one is forgiven." I think anyone can see what is going on here. Forgiveness is a reciprocal process. It is something that we do for others and at the same time something that we do for ourselves. In a sense we are all connected (there are many faiths that stress this idea). A theme of The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky is that we are guilty before all and everyone else is guilty before us. Only when we remember our common predicament, that we are all capable of evil, can we come to understand that forgiveness in all situations is the only answer. Because no matter how much we want to admit it we are already guilty too. Forgiveness is what love would do. Forgiveness is the action of love.

Much Ado

There has been a plethora of events and happenings in the week since I last wrote, and not just small things, but changing of the Center things. I am not going to go into detail right now, because it is not what I am feeling, but just want to mention it. The first is that Tyrone will no longer be with us. That is all I am going to say at this time. The second is that Steve is participating in a two week service trip to Ecuador. He is helping a group of people build an orphanage. So in a matter of about I week I have found myself with much greater responsibility at the Center. Not something that is necessarily scary, because there are so many other people who do things here, but definitely an exciting challenge. I look forward to working more closely with all the people in the St. Vincent de Paul organization and also the guys here at the Center who are taking on more responsibility and facing their challenges.

What I want to do today is reflect on some of my thoughts from the Wednesday spiritual gathering. NOTE: after being interrupted by the events of the day I am back to write my thoughts...six hours later. We reflected on psalm 139. There first theme that struck me was that for God "light and darkness are the same." I suppose I have heard things similar to this before but what does this really mean? It seems to be an attack on the institution of relativity, an idea created by Einstein and empirically supported by innumerable experiments thereafter. Does God experience the world differently than us? I guess that has an obvious answer. But does this idea of light and darkness also mean that up is the same as down? Hot the same as cold? Does left become right? Right become wrong? Love become hatred? Good become evil?

My problem is this. At the end of the psalm the author talks about having a perfect hatred for those who have a hatred of God (as if God is somehow hurt by this hatred?). Anyway, it really bothered me because of the contradiction with the New Testament and the teachings of Jesus. They are the exact opposite. But then I thought to myself that God sees light as darkness and darkness as light and so must see love as hatred and hatred as love. So maybe in the end everything is OK. I don't know. For us, as humans, this is a dangerous doctrine, because we may be led to believe that everything comes out in the wash, everything is basically OK. But we must remember that we are not God (hey, for some of us this can be hard) so the same rules do not apply. Our world, apparently unlike that of God, is ruled by relativity, on the grandest scales right down to the smallest most basic particles. Even so, we must follow the sociopolitial, ethical and moral rules that make sure everyone lives fairly and equally. We must look to some sort of absolute, even if it does not apply to God, to guide our decisions. Hopefully for the sake of humanity the absolute we use as a guide is love. I would not want it to be hatred.