losing a friend
Many of my JV counterparts speak of the connections they have made with clients. I always found this a bit curious. Maybe it is because I do not think of the guys I work with as clients, but instead, as fellow humans. But I am not sure this is right. My problem is that I have a hard time identifying a particular bond with the guys. How is it that everyone else has made these great friends? And if I think of the guys not as clients but as people, that should make me more likely to create some sort of bond.
I don't know. I can say, however, that I do feel a connection with the guys, at least some of them. I suppose I just have a hard time finding it. What brought me to this reflection is that one of the guys who I have worked closely with over the last few months, who has had a lot of responsibility at the Center, and who had made a huge amount of progress, recently left the Center to check himself into a drug treatment program. It came as a big surprise because he seemed to be doing so well. He was working a full-time job, got himself some housing, and spent his free time working at the Center. I like to think that I can usually tell when someone is using, but I could not this time.
So I did not get to say goodbye. I did not get to give him support. I did not get to tell him that I was proud of him and that it is OK to seek help. This year has been full of ups and downs, seeming victories and seeming failures. I don't really know anymore what is what. But I will take this experience as a victory. Yes, he started using again and had to go to a treatment center. But he made major steps in working full-time, staying in an apartment, and working at the Center. And even making the decision to get help, to make himself vulnerable and open to the caring hands of others, is itself a major victory. Most of the guys here are unwilling to do that.
So I guess more than anything I am thankful for the guys here at the Center, thankful for the experience we have had, and mostly thankful for the guys who I have gotten the chance to really get to know. There are so many stories and so many different personalities. And everyone has something speical to give. I am truly thankful. I pray that my friend finds himself, without drugs and alcohol, wherever he is. And that when he is done he can share his real self with everyone else.
I don't know. I can say, however, that I do feel a connection with the guys, at least some of them. I suppose I just have a hard time finding it. What brought me to this reflection is that one of the guys who I have worked closely with over the last few months, who has had a lot of responsibility at the Center, and who had made a huge amount of progress, recently left the Center to check himself into a drug treatment program. It came as a big surprise because he seemed to be doing so well. He was working a full-time job, got himself some housing, and spent his free time working at the Center. I like to think that I can usually tell when someone is using, but I could not this time.
So I did not get to say goodbye. I did not get to give him support. I did not get to tell him that I was proud of him and that it is OK to seek help. This year has been full of ups and downs, seeming victories and seeming failures. I don't really know anymore what is what. But I will take this experience as a victory. Yes, he started using again and had to go to a treatment center. But he made major steps in working full-time, staying in an apartment, and working at the Center. And even making the decision to get help, to make himself vulnerable and open to the caring hands of others, is itself a major victory. Most of the guys here are unwilling to do that.
So I guess more than anything I am thankful for the guys here at the Center, thankful for the experience we have had, and mostly thankful for the guys who I have gotten the chance to really get to know. There are so many stories and so many different personalities. And everyone has something speical to give. I am truly thankful. I pray that my friend finds himself, without drugs and alcohol, wherever he is. And that when he is done he can share his real self with everyone else.
posted by Ryan at 12:33 PM
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