Not as boring as yesterday...I hope
This morning a group of us got together for a spiritual discussion. It was a great way to begin the day, even though I got up an hour earlier than I usually do. We will do this for the next couple of weeks on Wednesday mornings. I would say who makes up the group, but in the spirit of the book I just read that involves secret organizations, Foucault's Pendulum, no one gets to know. We have lots of secrets to hide.
Anyway, the reading for the day was the Prodigal Son from Luke's gospel. I am sure that I do not have to tell the story, even those who are not religious are most likely familiar with the basic plot. There is a lot about materialism, forgiveness, redemption and all that good stuff. There is the prodigal son, the father, the resentful son, the evil pigs and a great feast. I think I have covered everything, if not the bible is the most published book on the entire earth, I think everyone can get their hands on one.
The meditation and then discussion revolved around our relationship with God and who exactly we see God as in our lives. When listening to the story I immediately began analyzing the characters. I felt a need to quantify my experience so that I could make myself fit into the story. This is after all one of the most famous parables Jesus ever told. There must be something or someone I could relate to, I should obviously be able to learn something. Am I the prodigal son, the example of materialism? The hard-working resentful son who gets angry mostly out of ignorance? The evil pigs? The father, the representation of God, forgiveness and acceptance (I wish)? Really, I feel as though I fit one or more of these descriptions at different times in my life (as we all do). I see myself as some sort of sinusoidal wave. The x-axis is time or my life experience. The y-axis represents good and bad, up being good/God and down being bad/evil. What I hope to do is raise the mean level of the wave. We are all going to have ups and downs, my goal is to simply make the goods things better and the bad things not so bad.
This all skirts around what I really want to say. All this thinking is not important. Ironically and paradoxically thinking led me to the conclusion that thinking about God it not where I make any sort of connection with God. The earliest believers did not even have a word for God (if they did they were not allowed to use it). Why is this? Why is it that with the advent of speech and writing, systems that allow us to communicate our ideas and beliefs, semantic and symbolic representation of God is outlawed? Because they are not good enough to express the FEELING of what God is. Our rational creations do not do God justice. So thinking about how I fit into this religious story about forgiveness and redemption and thinking about my relationship with God is just not going to cut it. I need to focus on my feelings, not my thoughts. On what it feels like to smile and laugh with someone. What it feels like to give a hug. To help someone with a physical ailment. To sit down and have a good conversation with friends and family over dinner. To kiss someone. To walk outside early in the day and feel the sun on my back, hear the birds in the trees and smell the air with the morning dew. There are so many feelings we have that are good, that are beautiful. These are what I want to attribute to God. These are what I want to not think about but let sit in my heart, in my soul and evolve.
Anyway, the reading for the day was the Prodigal Son from Luke's gospel. I am sure that I do not have to tell the story, even those who are not religious are most likely familiar with the basic plot. There is a lot about materialism, forgiveness, redemption and all that good stuff. There is the prodigal son, the father, the resentful son, the evil pigs and a great feast. I think I have covered everything, if not the bible is the most published book on the entire earth, I think everyone can get their hands on one.
The meditation and then discussion revolved around our relationship with God and who exactly we see God as in our lives. When listening to the story I immediately began analyzing the characters. I felt a need to quantify my experience so that I could make myself fit into the story. This is after all one of the most famous parables Jesus ever told. There must be something or someone I could relate to, I should obviously be able to learn something. Am I the prodigal son, the example of materialism? The hard-working resentful son who gets angry mostly out of ignorance? The evil pigs? The father, the representation of God, forgiveness and acceptance (I wish)? Really, I feel as though I fit one or more of these descriptions at different times in my life (as we all do). I see myself as some sort of sinusoidal wave. The x-axis is time or my life experience. The y-axis represents good and bad, up being good/God and down being bad/evil. What I hope to do is raise the mean level of the wave. We are all going to have ups and downs, my goal is to simply make the goods things better and the bad things not so bad.
This all skirts around what I really want to say. All this thinking is not important. Ironically and paradoxically thinking led me to the conclusion that thinking about God it not where I make any sort of connection with God. The earliest believers did not even have a word for God (if they did they were not allowed to use it). Why is this? Why is it that with the advent of speech and writing, systems that allow us to communicate our ideas and beliefs, semantic and symbolic representation of God is outlawed? Because they are not good enough to express the FEELING of what God is. Our rational creations do not do God justice. So thinking about how I fit into this religious story about forgiveness and redemption and thinking about my relationship with God is just not going to cut it. I need to focus on my feelings, not my thoughts. On what it feels like to smile and laugh with someone. What it feels like to give a hug. To help someone with a physical ailment. To sit down and have a good conversation with friends and family over dinner. To kiss someone. To walk outside early in the day and feel the sun on my back, hear the birds in the trees and smell the air with the morning dew. There are so many feelings we have that are good, that are beautiful. These are what I want to attribute to God. These are what I want to not think about but let sit in my heart, in my soul and evolve.
posted by Ryan at 2:57 PM
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