Travel

In a few minutes I will be leaving the Center to travel back home (Wisconsin) for a medical school interview. I look forward to coming back and having a pile of work to take care of and a list of messages to answer. I guess I should be a little more optimistic, or at least more accepting of what I am doing. Going away for a few days makes me realize how much I have to do here and what I miss when I am gone. It makes me happy that I have so many people to work with and so much good stuff to do.
Last night I was able to attend the Warriors game with Tyrone, the tickets were a treat from the Warriors trainer Tom Abhnourr (I really think I ruined his last name, apologies and I will try to fix it). Many thanks to him for the tickets. It is funny how when you are a volunteer you still get to do good things because people seem to be a little nicer to you because you are a volunteer. I am not complaining. It was good to see and game and spend some time with Tyrone away from the Center. Again, thanks to Tom for the tickets.
Oh yeah, and the Red Sox won the world series. The curse has been lifted, the world may end any time now. I am thankful for my friends, they may finally rejoice in their team. Although, as another friend, Jonny Lippert pointed out, they are no longer the team to cheer for. No one will feel bad for them anymore because they have won the world series. They are now an East Coast, big budget team. No distinction from the Yankees. I will not go that far. Anyways, way to go Sox.

Normal Day

Not much to say about the day. Nothing crazy happened and no particular experiences jump out in my mind about which I could talk. This is not a bad thing. I think that sometimes we might get caught up in the "commercial" aspects of service, if this if possible. What I mean to say is that working at the Center is not only the big projects and the events that we can talk about. The true charity comes in the form of the day to day time spent with each other sharing what we all have to offer. Today we did normal work, hung out, figured out what we are going to do in the coming days. I am glad that I was able to spend the time with my fellow workers and the guys.

Argument

I got into my first argument with a client on Friday night. We had a guest speaker come down to the Center to fill in for another guest speaker that could not make it. Because of this, he was not very well prepared and to be honest it did not seem very natural to him to be in front of people. But this does not mean that he does not deserve respect. One of our clients asked absurd questions, interrupted, and just was not cool. Tyrone and I were upset so we talked to him. I got a little angry and used a "cus" word to my client during the reprimand. He became very angry himself and started to show how righteous he is. At this point I decided it was not worth it to get into a stupid little argument with someone who was not going to listen anyway. I do not swallow my pride very easily so I am proud of how things turned out. Needless to say, TY said he has my back.
All I want is for people to realize that the Center is bigger than any of us. In order to have people to come and speak we need to treat them well when they do come. And generally speaking, the guys need to know how to treat people. I am willing to bet that the reason the aforementioned client does not have a steady income and life is because he lacks respect for authority and does not adhere to the normal rules of conduct that the rest of (normal) society does.
Anyways, today I worked in the dining room and it went pretty well. I was in charge of drinks and as my fellow compatriot, David said, "These guys drink carbonated sugar water as if it is the elixir of life." I don't know about that, but they do drink a lot of soda, maybe because they pour it into their own two liter bottles as soon as they get in. And now I just realized why so many of the guys have bad teeth.
Because the dining room does not take up all of Monday, I went to St. Mary's Center and worked in the Day Care Center. It wasn't a bad deal, the little tykes (spelling?) aren't too bad. I would like to say that while playing ball with a four year old girl I was called "nigga." Pardon my French, but I thought it was pretty silly.

Dreams

Last night I had a dream about the Center. The place was in chaos and there was no one else around to help me out. I was running around trying to do this and that and left for a while only to come back to a group of guys sitting in a cirlce smoking crack. Great. What is one to do in this situation? I found myself very angry, at what I do not know. The guys for breaking the rules? For disrespecting the center? Myself for leaving the place unattended? The nature of this ministry because it is filled with so much failure?
I kicked them out, shoving the last gentlemen for trying to get back in. Imagine the nerve. But in trying to decipher this dream I am not sure what it means. Maybe nothing. Maybe I feel a little overwhelmed. It may be that I feel lonely in the work I am doing, despite all the leadership and help I receive from others. Maybe I feel as though I am not doing enough. I am happy, however, that I was strong enough to get the men out of the center. This job takes strength.
I do know one thing. This work, the center, the guys, my fellow workers...are all on my mind. And that is a good thing. This year is an opportunity to do something different with my life. Explore different people, live in new environments, awaken spirituality, the list could go on. Anything else would be selling myself short.

Red Sox Win

Techanically I suppose I am not an official Red Sox fan. I grew up in Wisconsin and only spent 4 years in Boston. But over those years I grew to enjoy watching the Red Sox play and living with a group of kids from Boston has rubbed off. I am just happy that we do not have to put anyone on "suicide watch" this year. So...go Red Sox, you have just completed to most amazing comeback in the greatest series ever.
Work has been pretty normal lately, whatever that means. Steve has been off and that makes me a little lonely, but TY and I have been holding the place down. I have spent the week doing work to get ready for a meeting for One Warm Coat. It is going to be quite a winter season (winter without snow, wow) doing all the stuff for the project.
I have one story from the week. I definitely had a conversation with a paranoid schizophrenic. I guess I should not go into details because this person could find out and become paranoid about me and I really do not think that is cool. But it was interesting nonetheless.

Homeless Court

Friday, October 15 was Homeless Court at the Center. It was easily one of the best days I have had working with St. Vincent de Paul. We had actual Court with a judge and the public defendent, the DA, clerks, the whole deal. The guys got rid of their non-violent misdemeanors in exchange for proof that they have been making themselves better. A lot of the men have really been doing a good job of volunteering or going to AA meetings and clearing their records is such a good way to keep the train moving in the right direction. I really felt as though I was part of everything. We did something concrete.

Relationships

Today was about relating to different people. At the center there are many personalities. It is important for me to keep my own personality but at the same time I must often conform in little ways to others' personalities. When I am with Steve we have very much a friendly working relationship. We talk, share ideas, discuss situations, etc. always as would two brothers. This is kind of funny because Steve reminds me of my twin brother Dave. Maybe we can get into that later. When I work with Tyrone I try to feed off his passion and emotion. I only offer a small amount of what I bring to the table, and so far this has been working quite well. Tyrone and I get things done when we work together because we both respect our differences. When I am dealing with others in the organization, especially those is higher positions such as Phillip, I am much more inclined to be more formal. This may be normal for some, but coming from the Center it is often a little bit of a change.
I know that none of this is new discovery. By the time we are leaving college and joining organizations I hope we have all learned to offer what we know we are good at and to get help where we need it. We are working in a give and take system in which we should utilize our strengths and look to have our weaknesses subsidized.
The whole reason I bring this up is becuase Steve and I were discussing our relationship to Jesus today. We all have our own relationship to Jesus. It can be no other way. We were all born in different places in different times to different parents with different colors of skin who raised us differently. And we have all had different experiences in life. This also is not a new discovery, but I feel it is important to be conscious of how things work. There are many religions because throughout time different people, groups of people and cultures found different paths to salvation. I accept the way Steve relates to Jesus and the way Tyrone relates to Jesus and hopefully we all accept and understand our unique "Ways to the One."
The Center provides a concrete example of people who are different - in all the ways mentioned above and more. And I feel that we are moving in the right direction with the way that we all relate to each other, workers and clients alike. We all have our relationship with Jesus, and that can be our salvation, but we must remember that when we feed the poor we are feeding Jesus, when we clothe the naked we are clothing Jesus, when we offer a hand to another we offer it to Jesus. This is what we do at the Center.

Regular Day

Today, unlike the last, was calm. We began opening our doors 5 days a week only a few weeks ago and many of the homeless men still do not come in on the newly open days. I am sure, however, that this will change with time.
Steve was a little worried that I was upset with him for his intense behavior yesterday. I guess he does not fully understand me yet. We had a stressful day and I expect emotions to run high. We are here to share gifts with each other. I have gifts, Steve has gifts, Tyrone has gifts, the homeless men have gifts. The beauty of the process lies in the fact that we allow ourselves to accept each other's mistakes and faults along with the gifts we have to offer. Therefore no one has to be afraid. We all share what is good and we all share what is bad and everyone gains. The secret is getting rid of fear.
We are imperfect beings always striving towards the ideal of perfection. The only way in which we can be successful in this often volatile process is to be aware of what we are doing. We will never be perfect - we will always find ourselves in the process. We laern from each other, give to each other, learn from our mistakes and others, and in the process shed what we wish to rid ourselves for that which we want to become. We must always be conscious of ourselves and others. That is what we are doing at the Center. We come together and as Steve would say, we "hang." From there the possibilities are endless, but it all starts when we get together and share our gifts.
There is a lot going on right now with the Homeless Court, but Steve and I took some time today to brainstorm and start organizing One Warm Coat. There is a lot to do, and I feel as though I have a lot of responsibility. But I know things will get done. I will do them and if I need help I know there are people willing. I really look forward to help make the whole process as efficient as possible.

ho hum

Well, I have not made an entry in a few days because we spent the weekend at Camp Loma Mar - YMCA Youth Camp. JVC organized a retreat in which we JVs could get away from our jobs for a while to reflect on our experiences involving social justice, simple living and community. It was quite enjoyable to meet people again and share new stories. I get the sense of an evolving community, not just within each of our homes but as a service organization (family is a better word) as a whole. Hopefully we are already spreading that sense of togetherness to those we serve, as I see this as our main goal. I am confident this is the direction we are moving. Needless to say, I feel great about my personal community. We have our differences, but we respect those differences.
Today at work we had two public defendents come and interview men who had signed up for the Homeless Court. It was quite chaotic because the process of signing the men up, reviewing their records, advocating for them and finally having them meet with the public defendents got completely jumbled up. This is not the worst thing in the world, however, because we are part of the pilot program. We do not expect everything to be perfect. Nevertheless, we achieved much today. The amount of good that we did for the men far outweigh any negative aspects of the experience. Also, we are learning as we go, pushing through the particulars of how the Homeless Court should work. I am excited, and nervous, to see how Friday turns out.

Denied Medical Treatment

Today, for the most part, was like any other. I worked on some administrative duties, helped the men with various services and participated in a meeting to help organize the interns in their daily activities. As I was helping a woman move her car I heard some ramblings from the men that there was a person bleeding all over the Center. I took it as an exaggerated story but when I walked in I found myself looking into the eyes of a young man with a two inch gash directly about his eybrow. This was no ordinary injury. From what he told me, I found out that he was drunk last night, jumped by a couple other men and hit with some sort of weapon. He waited until one o'clock today to take care of his problem. There is no doubt that the gash was a half inch deep and a third of an inch wide as well as being two inches long. Feeling my own forehead I could only conclude that there is not a half inch of skin and fat covering the skull. Wearing sterile gloves, David (a co-worker) and I placed a bandage over the young man's injury and I took him to Highland Hospital. There, I accompanied him as he signed up for the emergency room. When he found out that he was sixth in line and had to wait for an extended period of time he decided that he would not wait. No matter what I said to convince him he would not stay. After arguing for a short time I conceded and brought him to the park he requested. He would not even let me give him some clean clothes that were not covered in blood. As I dropped him off I watched him walk away with the only consolation that above all else we have free choice.
But really that does not make me feel any better. I wonder if I could have been more forceful. Maybe I should have left him at the hospital, with no other choice than to wait in the emergency room. Sometimes it may be helpful to take away the choice of others. He was not acting rational, was most likely still dazed from the whole experience. I had better judgment and more knowledge about the situation. At least he knows the address of the Center and has our phone number. And he was grateful to me for the help I gave him. I suppose this was a learning experience, like most others, in which I could have done a better job from where I am now.
On a lighter note I would like to share a simple yet profound experience from this morning. Before the work day started Tyrone gathered the interns together for morning prayer. As I looked around the cirlce of shared hands I realized I was the only person with a home and the only person with white skin. The surprising part of the experience is the fact that this did not phase me. If I would not have looked up and been in a contemplative state of mind, I would never have come to this realization. We often say that the Center is an excuse to create relationships. What we do not acknowledge is that we have created, through these relationships, a colorless, raceless venue in which to share our gifts, whatever those may be. It is for this experience that I am thankful for this day.

Tyrone, Tom, Steve 

day 1

Seeing as this is my first entry into the blog, it is probably wise to give a little background information. I am from Two Rivers, WI. It is a small town about 70 miles north of Milwaukee situated on Lake Michigan. I grew up in a suburban neighborhood and then in the country, next to farms and forests. Needless to say, it is quite a bit different than downtown Oakland. Growing up I did not know what crack and heroine were, I never saw a homeless person, and everyone I knew was white. So coming to the Champion Guidance Center of St. Vincent de Paul has been an in depth learning experience.
After attending a Catholic high school I enrolled at Boston College, a Jesuit institution in the suburbs of Boston (ironically, BC is in Chestnut Hill and is actually a University - there is the fun fact for the day). There, I studied Biology and Philosophy while also preparing for a career in medicine. I also participated in an a cappella group called the Heightsmen of Boston College, which is BC's only all-male a cappella group. Anyone who would like to listen to (and hopefully buy) a CD is welcome to come down to the center.
I decided I wanted to participate in the Jesuit Volunteer Corps my junior year at BC. I was on a service trip to Fries, VA and during a spiritual reflection felt the calling to spend a year after undergrad and before med school doing service. JVC is a program based on the four Jesuit ideals of community, spirituality, simplicity and social justice. We work all four ideals into our lives each day, with my social justice piece coming mostly from working at the Champion Guidance Center. It has been an enlightening, fulfulling and scary experience so far and in upcoming blogs I will go into more detail about what I actually do and see at the Center. For now, peace.