Spirituality Night
My anecdote is not going to come from an event related to St. Vincent de Paul But in the spirit of knowing the inner thoughts of a Volunteer at St. Vincent de Paul I think that this story is relevant.
Last night was our spirituality night for our JVC community. I do not know if I have talked about this, but we have an agenda meeting each week, a community night each week and a spirituality night each week. We also try to eat together four nights of the week, although this is not always possible. The community and spirituality nights are hosted by a different member of the community each time we hold them, so there is a diversity of experiences.
For this spirituality night one of the members explained that dancing alone has become a way for her to relax, think and connect with God. She had us all try this form of prayer on our roof in downtown Oakland. We were allowed to think about anything we wanted and perform any movements in which our spirit guided us.
Luckily we have a big roof and there was room to spread out. I found a corner and ackwardly began dancing. The biggest challenge for me was fighting my feelings of self-consciousness and embarrassment. It is not often that you dance alone without any music (and seemingly to outsiders for no good reason). I could not help wondering if my housemates were watching me and judging the way I was dancing. This all begs some questions: Why feel self-conscious about dancing? About doing something spiritual? Why be afraid of being judged for something so unimportant as dancing on the roof? What led me to feel this way? How can I fight it?
I could probably go on forever. The easy answer is that there is nothing to feel self-conscious about when dancing, or praying, or doing anything worthwhile for that matter. I suppose I was afraid because we were doing something new and because it is not always accepted to do something out of the ordinary.
While I was doing my little dance I found that my movements went in cycles. As I battled in wardly there was a direct physical manifestation of my thoughts. So when I thought about others watching me and judging me my movements were erractic and more fast paced. I could almost feel demons trying to work themselves out. When I calmed my thoughts my movements were much calmer. For example, I spent a little time picturing Jesus at the Wedding of Cana. I could see Him dancing with friends, performing a dance from the time (what exactly I do not know). And I specifically remember putting a smile on His face, which is most doubtedly how it would have been. It was a wonderful thought: Jesus having fun with His friends, dancing, having food and drink; a relaxing and human moment for a Savior. Anyways, when I came out of the daydream with a smile on my face and my movements mimicked those I saw in the dream.
To me this was a true prayer. I was able to connect with my God in a way that influenced not only my mind but also my physical body. What an experience! As I think back I would love to get back to that spot where I can feel the calm, where I can experience the love that was present in the individual that provided the ultimate model of love itself. I will pray like this in the future in any way possible so that I can infuse the experience of God into every day life.
Last night was our spirituality night for our JVC community. I do not know if I have talked about this, but we have an agenda meeting each week, a community night each week and a spirituality night each week. We also try to eat together four nights of the week, although this is not always possible. The community and spirituality nights are hosted by a different member of the community each time we hold them, so there is a diversity of experiences.
For this spirituality night one of the members explained that dancing alone has become a way for her to relax, think and connect with God. She had us all try this form of prayer on our roof in downtown Oakland. We were allowed to think about anything we wanted and perform any movements in which our spirit guided us.
Luckily we have a big roof and there was room to spread out. I found a corner and ackwardly began dancing. The biggest challenge for me was fighting my feelings of self-consciousness and embarrassment. It is not often that you dance alone without any music (and seemingly to outsiders for no good reason). I could not help wondering if my housemates were watching me and judging the way I was dancing. This all begs some questions: Why feel self-conscious about dancing? About doing something spiritual? Why be afraid of being judged for something so unimportant as dancing on the roof? What led me to feel this way? How can I fight it?
I could probably go on forever. The easy answer is that there is nothing to feel self-conscious about when dancing, or praying, or doing anything worthwhile for that matter. I suppose I was afraid because we were doing something new and because it is not always accepted to do something out of the ordinary.
While I was doing my little dance I found that my movements went in cycles. As I battled in wardly there was a direct physical manifestation of my thoughts. So when I thought about others watching me and judging me my movements were erractic and more fast paced. I could almost feel demons trying to work themselves out. When I calmed my thoughts my movements were much calmer. For example, I spent a little time picturing Jesus at the Wedding of Cana. I could see Him dancing with friends, performing a dance from the time (what exactly I do not know). And I specifically remember putting a smile on His face, which is most doubtedly how it would have been. It was a wonderful thought: Jesus having fun with His friends, dancing, having food and drink; a relaxing and human moment for a Savior. Anyways, when I came out of the daydream with a smile on my face and my movements mimicked those I saw in the dream.
To me this was a true prayer. I was able to connect with my God in a way that influenced not only my mind but also my physical body. What an experience! As I think back I would love to get back to that spot where I can feel the calm, where I can experience the love that was present in the individual that provided the ultimate model of love itself. I will pray like this in the future in any way possible so that I can infuse the experience of God into every day life.
posted by Ryan at 2:19 PM
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